Today I will be giving you the top ten signs to spot that blood-sucking creature. Once you have determined that your suspicions are correct, do not, and I repeat, do not approach. Odds are if you came here seeking to find out whether or not your neighbor is a vampire, then you do not know the proper way to kill or incapacitate the vampire. I do not want you to approach a vampire thinking that you can "take" him. Vampires are very dangerous creatures and very rarely "turn" their victims. Most of the time they leave the blood drained corpse to rot. Keep in mind that these are only the top ten ways to spot a vampire. There may be many more ways, but I am only going to go into the top ten ways! If you have another way to spot one then by all means drop me a line or leave a comment!1. Have you seen them in the daylight? If you have seen your neighbor during daylight hours out in the sun, then he is definitely not a vampire. Sunlight kills vampires. Ignore what you read in that book about sparkling vampires. Those were not vampires, they were fairies that just so happened to drink blood. I am not saying that your neighbor is not any other type of pernat though. He very well could be. In that event check one of the other lists.
2. Do they have deathly pale skin? Just because someone has pale skin does not make them a vampire, but when added to one of the other signs then it can be a pretty good indication. When I say deathly pale, I mean, if the person were to be laying down with their eyes closed could you possibly mistake them for dead. Alive human beings, even pale ones, are almost never mistaken for dead.
3. Do animals steer clear of him/her? Animals tend to be very good judges of character most of the time. They have an extra sense that helps them steer clear of danger and predators.
Most people will just ignore a ansty or uneasy dog or cat, but you shouldn't. These animals are trying to tell you that there is something wrong and you should listen to them. If they stay away from a person then odds are there is a very good reason. Now this alone does not mean they are a vampire, but it is enough reason to steer clear of the person.4. Do large numbers of people come and go from their house? Odds are if large number of people are seen coming AND going from the person's house, then they are not a vampire. Vampires rarely take visitors and if they do the odds of that visitor leaving of his own accord is unheard of. Vampires tend to be very territorial so other vampire visitors are a rarity, although not unheard of.
5. Is the person cold and clammy to the touch? You may not want to test this one out, but odds are you have shaken the hand of your other neighbors. Shake his hand and introduce yourself, just make sure you are not alone when you do so just in case. If he/she is cold and/or clammy to the touch then that can be a symptom of the "virus" that causes vampirism (yes I understand that vampirism is not a real word).
6. Have you ever seen them eat? When I ask that, I mean have you ever seen them eat actual food. A vampire lives off of blood and blood alone. It does not necessarily have to be human blood, but blood of some sort. Odds are if you see them unloading a bunch of groceries into the house, then they are eating something and not living off the consumption of blood. The consumption of food is not a choice but rather something that they can not physically do. Consuming food makes them physically ill.
7. Do they exhibit superhuman strength? Does the person in question seem a little too strong for their size? A "normal" person should not be able to lift a car with one arm without breaking a sweat.
Millenias of evolution and predatory instinct have turned the vampire into a killing machine. The superhuman strength makes them capable of taking down even the strongest of prey. If your neighbor is exhibiting what you see as superhuman strength, then I would steer clear of them.8. Does the person exhibit superhuman speed? While speed can be indicative of a vampire, other pernats also exhibit it. Just like the superhuman strength, speed is a skill brought on by millenias of evolution to build the perfect predator. It enables the vampire to catch even the fastest of prey. If you see a person exhibiting this particular ability, try your hardest to not let them know you think they are a vampire or other pernat because you will NOT be able to outrun them.
9. Do they have fangs? This might sound like a gimme but you would be surprised at the amounts of mortals that are fooled by a smooth-talking person of the fanged persuasion. People tend to over look fangs because some vampires' fangs are not exactly protruding like they do in the movies. Keep in mind that some vampires' fangs can even retract which can make it even harder to spot them.
10. Do they consume vast quantities of blood? DING DING DING! We have a winner folks. I can, with 99.9% certainty guarantee you that if your neighbor is consuming blood then he is a vampire. There are no ifs ands or buts about this one folks. If a person is consuming blood then they are a vampire. I mean no normal person would drink blood in mass quantities right?
All of these qualities and signs on their own may not signify that the person is a vampire, but when combined, they make for a very convincing case. If you notice one or more of these qualities in your neighbor or someone you know, DO NOT APPROACH THEM! Matter of fact do not even let on that you know. Your life expectancy depends on it! I will be posting ways to deal with vampires in the future so check back often!
*Image 1 courtesy of fun140.com. If this is your image let me know and I will either pull the image or give you credit.*
*Image 2 courtesy of animals.change.org*
*Image 3 courtesy of musclebook.org*
*Image 4 courtesy of HBO.com and True Blood*
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