Have you suddenly found yourself in the middle of a Zombie feast and you are the main course? Did you wake up and find that you have an amazing hunger for human flesh? Have you been living for thousands of years surviving on human blood? Do you turn into a big hairy monster with every full moon? Well today is your lucky day. You have stumbled upon Practical Living: A Guide for the Dead and Undead Alike. Here you will learn what to do if you find yourself in awkward and unforseen circumstances, no matter your "species" or status. Living or Dead, Wolf or Human, here you will find refuge from all the troubles that follow you! There will be guides for everyone and we will even have some posts that are just for fun! So please check back with us often!

** CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR AN ARTIST TO CREATE ONE OF A KIND PICTURES FOR THIS BLOG. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP WITH SOME OF YOUR WORK**

Z-day Journal Entry One

Entry One: Z-day

I guess today is the first day of the end. I mean, today is the end of life as we know it. It all changes from here on out. It is all surreal.

In case I don't make it and someone finds this, I guess I should give a back story, huh? Well there is this big pharmaceutical company here in Atlanta. Apparently they were trying to create a drug that would help regenerate cells in the human body so people who are paralyzed could walk again. Long story short, something went terribly wrong, and the drug started killing people and those people would come back to life and attack the living people. I know it sounds like something out of a horror movie, but I swear on my life that I am telling the truth.

So I was at work today, and my boss (who is a creepy perv, but that isn't the point) didn't look so hot. I told him he should go home and get some rest. He kept saying he was fine. Now I had watched a lot of horror movies and it is not like it happens in the movies. It all happened so slow. It is like I was watching everything in slow-motion. I walked into Joe's (that is my boss) office to give him some paperwork, and he was biting his secretary. I had seen enough to know that was not normal human behavior, so I high-tailed it out of there! On my way home, I noticed all kinds of people acting like that and while listening to the radio, got the scoop on what had happened with Benton Pharmaceutical. Apparently they were transporting the drug to the CDC (also in Atlanta if you did not know) when there had been a car accident and the drug was some how exposed to the victims. The ones who died started coming back to life.

I finally got home to my family, who thank the stars were safe and sound. Right now we are holed up in our home gathering somethings and getting some rest. We plan on heading out of Atlanta in the morning. Where we are going to go, I don't know yet.

H-2: Undead Smackdown


I received a phone call from my youngest brother yesterday. He posed the question, "If a zombie and a vampire were to get into a fight, who would win?" To me, someone who has studied vampires, zombies, or anything supernatural pretty much all my life, this seemed like a real easy and in-your-face question. When I actually sat down and thought about it, I realized that it was actually a question worth looking into and explaining a little more.
Anyone who knows anything about vampires, knows that they have amazing superhuman strength and speed. A millenia or two of evolution has created the ultimate killing machine. The vampire's only downfall is the fact that she can only hunt during the night. A vampire is deadly whether there is one or an entire group of them. Although she can be killed it is extremely difficult to kill one, let alone an entire group. However a human being can take solace in the fact that vampires rarely, if ever, tend to horde.
The zombie is much different. He is not confined to hunt during a specific time of day, and he is motivated by nothing but the hunger. His hunger is the only thing that drives him and therefore the only reason he "survives". Compared to a vampire, the zombie is extremely easy to kill. Technically all it would take is extreme damage to the head (hence my favorite zombie killing weapon, a barbed wire wrapped Louisville slugger). Zombies cannot run or even think on a complex level. Most of the time, closing a door, or climbing up something can deter one or two zombies at a time. The real danger ensues when they start to horde. When their numbers increase, so does the risk of injury or death to a human. Highly different from it's undead counterpart, a zombie can effect it's prey with just one bite. Technically speaking one zombie could start a pandemic of exponential proportions. This in it of itself, coupled with it's hording tendencies, make for a very formidable foe.
If I were to say right now with any certainty, I would have to say that the vampire has the zombie beat hands down. However, when I look a little deeper, I would have to start looking at the zombie a little bit more. Of course one on one the vampire could obliterate the zombie, no problem. But when you start looking at a species wide war, the zombie would not only stand a chance, but could actually come out on top. Why you ask? It all boils down to a numbers game. In absolutely no time, zombies would far outnumber vampires, thus creating a double-edged sword for the vampire. Not only would the numbers create a significant foe for the vampire, but the zombie's sheer hunger would significantly reduce the vampire's food source. That in it of itself could be enough to reduce the vampires numbers. The mindless hunger that drives the zombie could be very detrimental to the vampire. What is your opinion?

We take a break from our regularly scheduled programming...

First, I would like to say that I am very sorry for the lack of posts recently, but things have been real hectic around here. I promise that will be back and posting almost daily from now on! Check back later for a review of the first two episodes of the new hit AMC show "The Walking Dead" (based on the hit comic book!)

Second, I know this is way off topic, but I would like to set the record straight with all you "normies" out there who think all goths/emos/scene kids/vamp junkies/punks etc. are abnormal and have issues. Last night, I was watching the news ( like I do every night) when this story caught my eye. Wendy Salzman (a local investigative journalist in Atlanta) reported on a story about 16-year-old Shelby Ellis, a 10th-grader at McEachern High School in Cobb County who allegedly ran away from home and was found a few weeks later in the state of Washington. Her father and step-mother were afraid she had joined "some vampire cult" because she visited a website called Vampirefreaks.com a whole five days before she ran away. VF is a social networking site (similar to Myspace, Facebook, and the like) geared towards the gothic/punk/emo scene. On the home page it even states "Gothic Industrial Culture". The site was founded and created by jet in 1999 when he was about 20 and attending the University of Rochester. It basically started as a message board with a few personal pictures of jet and his friends and a couple of music reviews and in just 10 short years it has grown to a website for the gothic industrial culture with over 1 million members world wide. I am a user of the website and have been since 2006 when my husband introduced me to it. When I started using VF, I was on Myspace (I have since deleted my Myspace profile) and felt that VF had more of what I was looking for in a social site. VF not only had a friendlier (less pervy) atmosphere, I felt secure in the fact that if I found that someone I was talking to was a "fake" then they would not last long on the site. I found that finding friends was easier, and finding people that shared the same interests I do was also easier. Jet and the admin of VF take running the site and keeping its members safe very seriously. I remember just a few weeks ago, I was asked by someone for nude photos. I immediately reported the person to the VF admin and within hours (not days) the profile was deleted by the admin (on VF if you try to visit a deleted profile it tells you if it was deleted by admin and a general reason why). If it would have been Myspace, the matter never would have been handled, and if it would have been Facebook, it would have taken months for the matter to be handled. I have to say that of all the websites I have been on where you interact with other people VF is one of the best policed sites I have ever frequented.
Shelby's parents insist that she was obsessed with "vampires and a dark underworld". Do not ask me what they mean by "dark underworld", because I would only be able to speculate. Shoot I would consider watching "Hannah Montana" and enjoying it to be a "dark underworld". Her step-mother, Wendy, is quoted as saying "We don’t allow certain things of the Gothic lifestyle." My question for her is "why?" She obviously has never actually interacted with a majority member of the gothic community, because most people in the gothic community are well educated, intelligent, tolerant human beings that just happen to like dressing and being different as well has listening to music that most people would consider harsh (or as my mother would say "loud noisy garbage"). I have to say that I am a proud member of this community. While I may not dress to the extreme, other things within the gothic lifestyle are part of my life. It is not just about the dress, but about the music, way of life, and artistic nature. That is why it is referred to as a way of life, and not a fad. Fads come and go. The gothic subculture has been around for a few decades now and I don't think it is going anywhere any time soon. Before someone says they are "freaked out" by or "don't allow" things of the gothic nature, maybe they should do some research into the matter before hand. Shelby's father even had the audacity to say, "That particular website, VampireFreaks.com, is a deviant behavior website. I think it's abnormal. People who frequent that website frequent it because they have some other issue." I believe that Shelby's parents are under the mistaken impression that they can blame an entire community for their daughter's actions because they feel that the community is abnormal (which by the way is a subjective term anyway). What they really need to do is look at their own family and way of life and see what they could have done better. Usually when a teenage child runs away from home the issue is not those she met on the internet, it is an issue at home. Many parents seem to have forgotten what it was like to be a teenager. As a parent, remember the hormones racing, the need to fit in, how mean other kids can be. Remember all of that and look at your child and see how you can help her. Do not blame something that is not really to blame. Honestly, before you judge someone or their lifestyle actually do your research on it. Personally, I do not know how Shelby's father could even state that VF is a "deviant behavior website" without even taking time to understand the people or even get to know some of them first. I mean has he even visited Myspace or Facebook lately? They are not exactly the cream of the crop either. And how can he speculate as to the issues in any person's life that uses the site, without personally knowing anyone on the site or their past? I believe he is just trying to hide the fact that he is a bigot. He is not very good at it either.
Before you judge me or any person for that matter, try understanding them or researching before you speak out against them. Put yourself in their shoes. You wouldn't want someone judging you based on trivial things would you?
Not a member of VF? Give it a try! Click this banner and say CherryDarling (<---- check out my page on vf via that link as well) sent you!



Sources: CBSAtlanta.com, Vampirefreaks.com

**You can find more information on the history of vampirefreaks.com [HERE]

W-1: History Lesson- Peter Stumpp

In 1564 and for 25 years after, the serene German town of Bedburg and surrounding areas, were terrorized by a werewolf. Peter Stumpp, also known as Peter Stubbe, was born in the village of Epprath, near Bedburg. The exact date of his birth is not known because the records were destroyed during the Thirty Years Wars. What little is known about him suggests that he was a widower with two children, on boy and one girl. Not much is known about the son, but the daughter appears to have been over the age of 15 and went by Beele (or Sybil). Stumpp also appears to have had an affair with a woman by the name of Katharina Trump (Trumpen) who may have been a distant relative. (In this time period it was not out of the ordinary for people to have intimate relations with members of their own family). Stumpp was a wealthy farmer and influential member of the community, which just made his accusation and subsequent confession to the horrific crimes attributed to him just that much more heinous.
During what is perhaps one of the most well-known werewolf murder trials in history, Stumpp was placed on the rack (a torture device used during the Dark Ages to get people to confess to crimes. The person was tied at the hands and feet and was stretched until they either died or confessed. Most confessed) and was presented with other tools meant to torture him. Presented with all of this, Stumpp promptly confessed to practicing black magic (since the age of 12). He also claimed that the Devil gave him a belt that allowed him to transform into "the likeness of a greedy, devouring wolf, strong and mighty, with eyes great and large, which in the night sparkled like fire, a mouth great and wide, with most sharp and cruel teeth, a huge body, and mighty paws" whenever he pleased by just putting the belt on and taking it off when he wanted to transform back into a human. During the twenty-five years before his capture, he gorged himself on not only goats, lambs, and sheep, but also men, women, and children. During his confession he claimed to have killed and eaten fourteen children, and two pregnant women and their fetuses. One of the fourteen children was purportedly his own son, whose brain he devoured. He along with his daughter were accused of having an incestuous relationship (relationships between immediate family members was strictly forbidden) together and were both sentenced to death. He also confessed to having sexual relations with a succubus sent to him by the devil.
Trial records tell of a few of the encounters between victims and Stumpp. One such story was that of two men and a woman that were walking along a road that went through the forest were Stumpp frequently hunted. Stumpp called out and one of the men went into the woods after him leaving the other man behind with the woman. When the man did not return after a while, the other man followed leaving the woman behind. When the second man did not return either, the woman ran for her life to no avail. Stumpp caught up with her and apparently devoured her entirely, because no trace of her body was ever found, but the two males bodies were found mangled almost beyond recognition. Stumpp frequently attacked young women who were milking in the fields, as they appeared to be his favorite victims.
After his trial, Stumpp was executed in what would become known as one of the most brutal executions on record. He was put on a wheel and the flesh was torn from his body in ten places with red-hot pincers, followed by his arms and legs. His limbs were then broken with the blunt side of an ax to prevent his return from the grave. He was then beheaded and burned upon a pyre. His daughter and mistress were burned alive with him after being raped and brutalized. As a warning for others, the townspeople erected a statue with a wolf on it and then placed Stumpp's severed head atop it.
Let Peter's story be a warning. Do not get caught. While today you may not face the same horrific death as Stumpp, you don't really want to take that chance do you? Learn from your ancestor's mistakes. Do not gorge yourself on human flesh, and do not confess under any circumstances!

*Sources:
Serial Killer Calendar
Wikipedia
Mysterious Things
Werewolves: The Myths and Truths

**Images:
All images were obtained from various internet sources. If any are your images, contact me for removal or credit.

***Disclaimer: Most of the evidence shows that Peter Stumpp was a mentally handicapped serial killer that suffered from a condition called lycanthropy, which is characterized by an individual that thinks he turns into a wolf and therefore acts like a wolf. These people, especially in that time period, would actually brutalize and even consume their victims. There were even some instances where the suspected victim's body was never even found. Many people who were suspected of the heinous crimes attributed to Werewolves in what is considered the Dark Ages, were not only tortured into confessing to these crimes, but were killed in horrific manners. It would have been similar to the execution of suspected witches during the Witch Hunts. Keep in mind that while writing this blog, I may use actual historical stories with a supernatural twist. I will use as much historical fact as possible, but I would not use me as a reference while discussing any history paper.***

VoW:Lego City Zombie Infection

This weeks video of the week is Lego City Zombie Infection.


Video courtesy of tomjoetwins@youtube.com

KoW: Left 4 Dead - Secret Witch Room

This week's Kill of the Week is a player on Left 4 Dead killing all the witches in a secret witch room.


Video courtesy of woodgnome999@youtube.com

SoW: Zombies on your Lawn (Plants v. Zombies Theme)

This weeks song of the week is Zombies on Your Lawn, the main theme for the hit game Plants vs. Zombies.

V-1: Newbs Guide to Hiding

The key to survival for every vampire is being able to successfully blend into his surroundings. Because the vampire is most vulnerable during the day when he is "sleeping", he is left wide open for attack or worse. Every vampire should know how to successfully hide the fact that they are anything but human. In the centuries of old this could have proven very difficult because there were no 24-hour businesses, therefore if you weren't seen during the day this meant there was something wrong with you. During this time, people were also more willing to believe in the supernatural and therefore your existence. Today, however, when told of the existence of any pernat, most people just shrug it off as pure mythology or craziness. Your biggest ally in this time is the atheist (no offense intended) because they are the hardest to convince of the existence of anything supernatural. If they do not believe in a god then the odds of them believing in anything resembling a vampire is very slim. If told that you are a vampire these people are likely to shrug it off as a joke or even jump into a diatribe about how the existence of vampires is utterly impossible. Now hiding should prove to be abundantly easier than in centuries past. Today for instance you could live in an area like this: rather than a house off by itself that everyone seems to be scared of. Odds are if you live off by yourself, you will draw more attention to yourself. Subdivisions provide mortals with a sense of security. Now living in a subdivision does bring up the instance of nosy neighbors (every subdivision and neighborhood has them). I suggest making sure that your neighbors see you leave your home at night and come home in the morning (all before the sun of course). If they believe that you work at night they are less likely to bother you during the day and in turn they are a little less likely to find out you are a vampire. But that is not all. I would suggest getting a mortal aid that you trust with your secret (there is an abundance of fangers- people who find the life of a vampire glamorous- out there) to "run" your house during the day. This mortal would be in charge of doing the things for you that can not be done during the day. This also serves another purpose. Because this mortal will be in your home, he/she will have to be fed. Therefore you will have to buy groceries and will not draw attention to yourself for not eating. You must also be sure to take trash to the curb, have your yard mowed and even landscaped. As long as you appear to live like a mortal, you won't draw attention to yourself and this is the key. Keep in mind that you may not want to consume your "dinner" at home as well. Cleaning up the mess and disposing of the body could draw attention to you. I would also suggest hunting somewhere away from the town you live in. In the mortal world, killers tend to murder their victims close to home, and thus when bodies start piling up you will not be a likely suspect. If at all possible, you could refrain from killing or draining your victims and that would absolve this problem almost entirely as long as you can make sure the victim can not identify you. Do not do anything in front of a human that is out of the ordinary for a mortal. This means no lifting cars, no flying, no super speeding. Do nothing that can not be explained, because it will draw attention to you!
If you do for some reason find yourself being questioned about what you are, take a play out of the lawyer's handbook and deny everything! Especially if they have no evidence. Even if they have sufficient evidence never admit that you are a vampire! Admitting you are a vampire would open a can of worms the size of Africa and you can almost guarantee that it would never be closed again. I suggest if you are caught, then you should try your best to get away without drawing more attention to yourself than you already have and move elsewhere in the world, like an entirely new continent or country.
If you have done everything the way I have said then you should be safe. Also keep in mind that blood banks can be a safe alternative to consuming from the source. I would also suggest moving every ten or so years so people do not ask why you are not aging. Following these few simple rules can mean an eternity of safety!

**Image 1 courtesy of shutterstock.com**
Image 2 courtesy of Interview With a Vampire and Geffen Pictures**

HMRoW: Fido (2006)

Directed by Andrew Currie, Fido was released in 2006. All I can say about this movie is wow! It combined two things I love and rolled them into a wonderful movie goodness! 1950's propaganda and zombies. It doesn't get much better than that.
It starts out with one of those wonderful 1950's propaganda videos. You know like this:

It tells how a nuclear cloud enveloped the earth and started causing the dead to reanimate. This started the "Zombie Wars". During this time a scientist created a "collar" of sorts that could be placed on the zombie to ease his hunger for human flesh. And thus ZomCom was born. ZomCom controls anything zombie related, including the selling of zombies as slaves. In this alternate world where zombies are "tamed", for lack of a better word, zombies take on the rolls of maintenance men, delivery boys, maids, butlers, landscapers and the such. It is after this short propaganda film that we meet one of the movies key characters, Timmy. Timmy's mother, Helen (played by Carrie Ann Moss), purchases a zombie in spite of her husband Bill's (played by Dylan Baker) very real and very obvious zombie phobia. When the zombie protects Timmy from some bullies that have been giving him a hard time, he befriends him and starts to call him Fido. Fido's collar is damaged by an elderly neighbor and he attacks her. This starts another small zombie outbreak. Timmy hides the fact that Fido did anything wrong, but the head of security at Zomcom, figures out that Fido was the cause of all of it and takes Fido back to the factory. Timmy learns from a friend that Fido was not killed, and goes on a rescue mission at Zomcom. When the head of security finds Timmy there he takes him out to the Wild Zone, which is were zombies without collars are held. Timmy's father, who has been a pretty absent father, enters with Fido to rescue Timmy. In the ensuing tussle, Bill is shot and killed. Fido then attacks the head of security killing him. After leaving Zomcom, they all basically live happily ever after.
Okay with that brief synopsis, let me weigh in with my opinion. Even though the movie had combined two of my favorite things, I think they could have done a little more with it. What I mean is, if you are going to change the mythology of the zombie, then go all out with it. Don't just change it a little. Explain why it is possible to keep a zombie as a pet and why Fido acted pretty much like a dog with Timmy. They could have done a flashback scene or went a little more in depth as to why Bill was a zombophobe (I am aware that it is not a word) rather than just alluding to it or glancing over the issue. In my opinion it is key to explain why Bill is the way he is and what leads him to rescue Timmy at the end. There were a lot of holes in the story line and personally I was left with a lot of questions. But all in all it was a good movie and for a movie of its kind, well worth the watch. Especially if you have a dark sense of humor!

Watch for Next Week's Review! I will be watching one horror movie and posting its review every Friday!

SoW: Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl

This weeks song of the week.


**Video courtesy of RobZombieVEVO@youtube.com**

KoW: Eric Kills Were

I will be posting a "Kill of the Week once a week along with the Video of the week and song of the week. Each will be posted on by no later than 12 pm (EST) Monday each week.


**Video courtesy of HBO and True Blood**

Spread the Word!

Hey Everyone! Are you liking what you are reading so far? Then Tell your friends! I have made a few banners to help spread the word. Take one and post it on your site! More will be added here as they are made.




Just Copy and Paste or save it to your computer and post where ever you can!

H-1: Top Ten Signs of a Vampire

Do you have the suspicion that your neighbor may be a creature of the night? Short of actually asking them, there are signs to spot the all to real danger that living in the vicinity of an immortal dead poses. Today I will be giving you the top ten signs to spot that blood-sucking creature. Once you have determined that your suspicions are correct, do not, and I repeat, do not approach. Odds are if you came here seeking to find out whether or not your neighbor is a vampire, then you do not know the proper way to kill or incapacitate the vampire. I do not want you to approach a vampire thinking that you can "take" him. Vampires are very dangerous creatures and very rarely "turn" their victims. Most of the time they leave the blood drained corpse to rot. Keep in mind that these are only the top ten ways to spot a vampire. There may be many more ways, but I am only going to go into the top ten ways! If you have another way to spot one then by all means drop me a line or leave a comment!

1. Have you seen them in the daylight? If you have seen your neighbor during daylight hours out in the sun, then he is definitely not a vampire. Sunlight kills vampires. Ignore what you read in that book about sparkling vampires. Those were not vampires, they were fairies that just so happened to drink blood. I am not saying that your neighbor is not any other type of pernat though. He very well could be. In that event check one of the other lists.
2. Do they have deathly pale skin? Just because someone has pale skin does not make them a vampire, but when added to one of the other signs then it can be a pretty good indication. When I say deathly pale, I mean, if the person were to be laying down with their eyes closed could you possibly mistake them for dead. Alive human beings, even pale ones, are almost never mistaken for dead.
3. Do animals steer clear of him/her? Animals tend to be very good judges of character most of the time. They have an extra sense that helps them steer clear of danger and predators. Most people will just ignore a ansty or uneasy dog or cat, but you shouldn't. These animals are trying to tell you that there is something wrong and you should listen to them. If they stay away from a person then odds are there is a very good reason. Now this alone does not mean they are a vampire, but it is enough reason to steer clear of the person.
4. Do large numbers of people come and go from their house? Odds are if large number of people are seen coming AND going from the person's house, then they are not a vampire. Vampires rarely take visitors and if they do the odds of that visitor leaving of his own accord is unheard of. Vampires tend to be very territorial so other vampire visitors are a rarity, although not unheard of.
5. Is the person cold and clammy to the touch? You may not want to test this one out, but odds are you have shaken the hand of your other neighbors. Shake his hand and introduce yourself, just make sure you are not alone when you do so just in case. If he/she is cold and/or clammy to the touch then that can be a symptom of the "virus" that causes vampirism (yes I understand that vampirism is not a real word).
6. Have you ever seen them eat? When I ask that, I mean have you ever seen them eat actual food. A vampire lives off of blood and blood alone. It does not necessarily have to be human blood, but blood of some sort. Odds are if you see them unloading a bunch of groceries into the house, then they are eating something and not living off the consumption of blood. The consumption of food is not a choice but rather something that they can not physically do. Consuming food makes them physically ill.
7. Do they exhibit superhuman strength? Does the person in question seem a little too strong for their size? A "normal" person should not be able to lift a car with one arm without breaking a sweat. Millenias of evolution and predatory instinct have turned the vampire into a killing machine. The superhuman strength makes them capable of taking down even the strongest of prey. If your neighbor is exhibiting what you see as superhuman strength, then I would steer clear of them.
8. Does the person exhibit superhuman speed? While speed can be indicative of a vampire, other pernats also exhibit it. Just like the superhuman strength, speed is a skill brought on by millenias of evolution to build the perfect predator. It enables the vampire to catch even the fastest of prey. If you see a person exhibiting this particular ability, try your hardest to not let them know you think they are a vampire or other pernat because you will NOT be able to outrun them.
9. Do they have fangs? This might sound like a gimme but you would be surprised at the amounts of mortals that are fooled by a smooth-talking person of the fanged persuasion. People tend to over look fangs because some vampires' fangs are not exactly protruding like they do in the movies. Keep in mind that some vampires' fangs can even retract which can make it even harder to spot them.
10. Do they consume vast quantities of blood? DING DING DING! We have a winner folks. I can, with 99.9% certainty guarantee you that if your neighbor is consuming blood then he is a vampire. There are no ifs ands or buts about this one folks. If a person is consuming blood then they are a vampire. I mean no normal person would drink blood in mass quantities right?

All of these qualities and signs on their own may not signify that the person is a vampire, but when combined, they make for a very convincing case. If you notice one or more of these qualities in your neighbor or someone you know, DO NOT APPROACH THEM! Matter of fact do not even let on that you know. Your life expectancy depends on it! I will be posting ways to deal with vampires in the future so check back often!

*Image 1 courtesy of fun140.com. If this is your image let me know and I will either pull the image or give you credit.*
*Image 2 courtesy of animals.change.org*
*Image 3 courtesy of musclebook.org*
*Image 4 courtesy of HBO.com and True Blood*

VoW: A Guy's Guide To Zombies

Once a week I will be posting a video of the week for your amusement. If you have any videos that you would like to suggest then let me know!



*Video courtesy of floreck@youtube.com*

Z-1: The Anatomy of a Human Being

As a hungry zombie, you need to know the human body. Don't you think it would be nice to know whether you are eating the spleen or the -blech- colon? Today we will be discussing the parts of the human body and whether or not they are suitable for raw consumption. I will also be providing a diagram of where to find these body parts and organs. I am assuming because you are reading this that you are a newly turned zombie, as an experienced zombie should already know most of this. If there are any questions feel free to ask!

Lesson One:
When you are feasting on human beings, odds are you aren't going to have much time to prepare and consume them. You will be consuming them raw and in many cases still alive, kicking and screaming. So therefore I believe that we should start with the human muscle system. In many cases this will not only be the easiest part of the human to eat, but the leanest part as well. Keep in mind that when you are consuming human flesh, you will have to go through three main layers of skin (epidermis, dermis, and hypodermis) to get to the muscular and fatty tissues. For consumption I would suggest eating the larger muscles and muscle groups. The muscles in the thighs, such as the Sartorious and the Femoris muscles should be rather lean cuts of meat. The gluteus maximus usually tends to be a fatty cut of meat (especially on human women). Rather fit and athletic humans may also have rather large and lean biceps, triceps, and deltoids. If you are in a hurry do not bother with the Frontaris or any of the muscles on the torso of the human. The Frontaris the rather small, thin muscle that covers the skull, so unless you actually have the time to deal with it, I wouldn't bother. The torso muscles tend to cover the internal organs of the human so unless you have time to consume those as well, it would just be a waste. Anything you do not have the time to consume would be best left for another zombie.

Lesson Two:
Now for the zombies who have the time and want a more "gourmet" meal, internal organs can not only provide proper sustenance, but can also be very tasty. Most of the internal organs are located in the torso. The heart and lungs are protected by the Rib cage and sternum. Underneath those, in the lower torso, are the rest of the internal organs. Before I get into the best and worst of the internal organs, I would like to point out that you should only attempt to consume them if you have the time and there are no rogue humans out hunting for you! Now if you have the time and the patience, the absolute best internal organ that the human possesses for consumption is the brain. The brain is the only internal organ not located in the torso. It is located inside the skull, or head, of the human. It also has to be the absolute best part of the human body! It is well worth the time and effort to get to! As far as internal organs of the torso, the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys are all top picks in my book. Most of them contain high levels of blood and oxygen, both of which make for wonderful eating. I would stay away from the stomach, large intestines, colon, and bladder as they all deal with human waste. The stomach also contains copious amounts of an acid made mostly of hydrochloric acid, potassium chloride, and sodium chloride all of which can be very caustic.

There are many things about the human body that even humans are still trying to figure out, but for the most part any portion of the human body can be consumed by a zombie. There are instances when one can not be too picky about what he consumes. If you find yourself fighting with a horde over one body grab what you can quickly and then go in search of another human. There is no sense in several zombies fighting over one body.

*Image 1 courtesy of google images. I can not remember the exact source so if this is your image let me know and I will give you credit or remove it.
*Images 2 and 3 courtesy of photobucket. If the image is yours then contact me for credit or removal.

FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions

General Info
Q: How do I know what the post I am reading pertains to?
A: In the post title there will be a letter (i.e. Z) that is the first letter of the creature that is being discussed. For Example, "Z-1: The Anatomy of a Human Being" Z meaning Zombie and 1 meaning the number of the post (first).

Q: When you say "she was/is a betty" what do you mean?
A: "Betty" is a very attractive woman. It was used in the movie Clueless and kind of stuck with me. And before anyone says it is derogatory towards women, I am a woman and find nothing wrong with it!

Q: What is mortal/immortal?
A: Mortal meaning can be killed somewhat easily and tends to die of old age or disease. Immortal meaning hard to kill and does not die of old age or disease.

Q: Are the pictures/words yours or someone else's?
A: When I use someone else's work whether it be information, words/quotes, or images I will state where I obtained the work at the bottom of the post in italics marked with a asterisk.

Q: I have a question, but don't want to ask on the blog. How can I contact you?
A: At the top of the page is a "Contact Me" button. Click that and you will be able to email me!

Q: You do know all of this stuff is fake/unreal right? Why are you writing as if it were real?
A: I have my reasons for doing what I do and if you have to question the validity of this blog, then maybe you shouldn't be reading it. I not only write for myself but those who would enjoy and understand what I am writing.


Pertaining to Humans
Q: What is a human?
A: A human is a mortal being with very little if any supernatural abilities. They are somewhat easily killed and considered very fragile. As of today they are the largest species inhabiting the planet.

Pertaining to Zombies
Q: What is a Zombie?
A: A Zombie is a human that has been infected by a virus that reanimates the body after death. They are mindless drones that do nothing but hunt for food which is usually meat of any sort and usually still in its living form.

Q: What is a "Zombabe"?
A: A zombie that was a betty when human. The combination of the words zombie and babe.

Pertaining to Vampires
Q: What is a Vampire?
A: A Vampire may or may not be a formal human. The vampire is immortal and survives mainly on consuming blood. Their blood of choice is human, but they can consume blood from other living creatures.

Pertaining to Weres
Q: What is a Were?
A: A Were is a creature that most of the time seems to be human (takes human form) but "shifts" into an animal, usually a wolf, but have been known to take other forms.

Pertaining to Other Supernaturals
Q: What is a "pernat"?
A: A pernat is the term that I use for supernatural creatures that are not zombies, vampires, or weres. This can be anything from a fairy to an angel/demon to a leprechaun.

**Will update as needed.**

Day 10.16.2010 Hour 23:39

You are reading this because you want answers. You have found yourself in situation that you cannot explain. You could have found yourself in the midst of a zombiepocalypse and have no idea how to survive. You may have found yourself a newly turned zombie and wish to know where the best places to eat are. Or are you an old vampire that has watched everyone he has ever loved perish? You could also be a Were that wants to know where the best places to burn off a little steam are. Here you will find all the answers to your questions, find out what to do in certain situations, and have a few laughs along the way.
I welcome any and all questions from my readers and hope to help each and every one of you in some way shape or form. At the beginning of each post I will state which species the article applies to. I will also be creating a FAQ section where you can have quick access to answers that many individuals have been seeking. You may never know when you will find yourself in a situation that would call these answers, so it wouldn't hurt to learn up would it?

*Image courtesy of gullusan.seesaa.net*